Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Natural Consequences

My sister and I always talk about natural consequences. You know, it's the stuff that 'naturally' happens after you make unwise decisions. For instance:

Drink 10 tequila shots
Natural Consequence:
End up on You Tube

Make cupcakes for no reason
Natural Consequence: 
Your clothes shrink 2 sizes

Potty Train your daughter when she doesn't want to
Natural Consequence:
Get psyched out because your daughter goes pee-pee in the potty the first 1/2 day you try it but the next day only does it twice and then gets mad at you. She then poops in her undies 5 minutes after her last 'try' which results in you having to 'cut them off' (yes, with scissors) because you're freaking out that you're going to get poop all over you. And then it doesn't stop there - it happens 2, yes, TWO more times that day - with one of them being 'mommy - there's a piece of poop in the playroom' because it fell out of the undies because they don't make princess undies in size 12-18 months. And then when you think you can't take it anymore, she starts being totally compliant by the end of the night so you think that maybe it's starting to click, but then the next day she has a total melt down the first time she 'tries' because you just stripped off her warm fleece jammies and she's sitting naked on a cold, plastic Dora toilet-seat insert and even the weird skull candies in the plastic beaker-thingy won't calm her down. Skip past the 3 more melt downs and throw on a diaper and head to the doctor's office where said child gets the flu and N1H1 vaccine (and didn't even cry!) and then head up to meet Daddy for lunch. After arriving home from lunch (and complaining to said Daddy) you feel that maybe you over-reacted and decide to put undies back on for the last 30 minutes before said daughter goes down for a nap. And while you're on the phone with  a particular cursed & evil personal training facility (California Peak Fitness - boycott those dirty scoundrels who steal your money and won't do anything about it and will not return phone calls) you realize that there is a nasty stench coming from the living room where you find your daughter standing in front of the TV with DIARRHEA coming down her leg, destroying the cutest, polka-dot wedges that you bought 2 years before she could even fit into them, and the green pants she's wearing are from Gap - so you really don't want to have to take the scissors to those, so you breathe through your mouth (as not to inhale the toxic fumes) and start trying to remove the soiled clothing, only to have poop get all over you because her feet get stuck (should have taken those shoes off first!) and she falls against you. That's when you notice the carpet has 3 stain marks but instead of getting something to start 'lifting' it out, you gab the girl and run to the bathroom where you plop her on the Dora seat and see that a poopy film is covering both her legs. You feel like crying, but instead wash your hands and arms as thoroughly as you can, and after saying 'DON'T MOVE, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK' you run and put some wipes on the floor, stepping firmly on the 'spots' hoping that you're doing something remotely close to helping the stain lift while thinking 'this is why we don't have a dog'. After a few more 'steps' on the stain, you get the soiled clothes, throw them in a plastic bag (because you don't want that to touch your other dirty laundry which is actually looking pretty clean to you right about now), and you take the undies that you cut off and throw those in the garbage too. Then after your daughter is 'all done' you give her a 'sponge bath' in the bathroom (that has no bathtub) for fear that another 'lift & carry' episode will result in a trail of vileness and you just can't 'go there' at the moment. And after the chaos has finally calmed down and each of you are clean (though you swear you can still smell 'it') your daughter will turn to you and say, 'Mommy... are you still mad?'

And that's when you know you've hit the lowest of lows in Natural Consequences.

Tomorrow Claire - we're just going to take it easy.
And I'll let you have any color you want - even if you don't go pee-pee in the potty.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I'm losing control of my daughter...

You know, I completely understand that babies grow, get older, and develop their own personalities. I just assumed that I would be able to have a bit more 'control' over 'molding' that personality. Guess that's just one of the many lessons I'm learning about motherhood.

I will say that I love how Claire is becoming her own 'person'. She definitely has certain toys she likes to tote around, certain books she likes to read over and over and certain shoes she prefers over others. And fortunately she hasn't balked at my clothing selections for her, but recently she has made me realize that there are certain things that I don't have control over any more, and I'm going to have to be okay with it.

What I'm talking about is her Halloween costume. Last year I had visions of over-sized felt french fries surrounding her little frame, but due to my procrastination lack of time, she had to wear her previous years costume - a spider. This year I was going to plan ahead. I had chosen the perfect costume weeks  months in advance and I was going to give her the BEST COSTUME EVER. It was going to be custom made, but then I found it online for less, so I figured I'd just save everyone some time and buy it. When I went to finally purchase it, I noticed that there were a few reviews - all of which said it was poor quality. Freaking out in my head that my perfect costume choice for her was slowly slipping through my fingers, I turned to Claire and just asked her what she wanted to be. Without skipping a beat she replied. And the past 10 times I've asked her she has said the same thing. And then she even told my Mom last weekend what she was going to be and she was really excited about it.

So now I've had to face the truth that I have lost this battle. I can't MAKE her be what I want her to be. She has an opinion, and I would be a SUPER MEAN MOMMY if I didn't let her be what she wanted purely because I thought my idea was better (which it still is).

Anyway, here's what Claire wants to be:

And here's what I want her to be:

Call me crazy - but I think DJ Lance Rock from Yo Gabba Gabba is WAY MORE COOL than some dumb pink butterfly.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Introducing.... Dora the Explorer

Sadly, this is not her costume. Remind me the next time I get Claire's hair cut to either go shorter or keep it longer. This just isn't working for me.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Band-Aids DO make everything better!

 So Claire was running around the island in the kitchen which she does a lot. But this time she fell. I was actually in the other room watching TV (Bob was in the kitchen, so it wasn't like I was just letting her be totally unsupervised) when I heard the fall... followed shortly by the cry. I went in there and listened while Bob recounted the event, and Claire continued to cry. She had a little bruise on her chin and after inspection I found there wasn't any blood (THANK GOODNESS! Otherwise I probably would have fainted) so with the hope of making the crying stop, I offered her a band-aid. Which she quickly said yes to, and requested a 'dog'.

Funny how those things work like magic!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Back from Napa

So this weekend I went to a wedding in Napa for a girlfriend of mine.
Needless to say, she looked absolutely gorgeous.


Honestly... we couldn't stop staring. And if I'm being honest - I was
totally jealous of how completely fabulous she looked!

It was a super fun time and I hope they're enjoying every minute
of their honeymoon in the Bahamas.


- Congrats Jessica & Mike -
Here's to your Happily Ever After!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Note to self... check exposure...

So I was trying to get some photos of Claire in her 1st 'Halloween Outfit' yesterday. It wasn't until after I uploaded the photos that I noticed the exposure was off. I was shooting lighter colors time before, and like a dummy I forgot to change it back afterwards. Awe fooey.

She was having such a good time trying to 'cross her legs'

Then a really loud car drove by and scared her

But the sweet girl bounced back pretty quickly
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