So HERE's what my problem is...

Bob ran across this blog and here is a post from it:

"Does anyone else ever feel that totally irrational nervousness when you have to open a can of those refrigerated cinnamon rolls or biscuits? As I’m peeling off the paper, I feel like my heart rate goes up about 100 beats/minute, even though I know that they never actually make a huge sound or explode violently. Why do I still feel so afraid?

Another example is when someone is going to pop a balloon. I know it’s not going to be that loud, but I still get nervous."

Okay, so anyone who knows me know that I 'suffer' from this. When Bob read it to me I said, 'oh my gosh! That sounds like I could have written that!!!'

And then he procedes to read me a 'response' to that post which says:

'You have a form of ligyrophobia — the fear of loud noises.'

The writer also goes on to say that he feels like he 'suffers' from that as well as it 'affects' him during fireworks, near large ships, etc.

So I'm thinking that my fear of being around people when they blow up balloons isn't really a fear of balloons themselves, but more of the possible 'popping' - which is really what the root problem is. (I remember as a kid being at a birthday party where they played this horrid little game where they tie a balloon to each ankle and then you mindlessly run around in sheer terror while menacing children try to pop your balloons by stamping their feet on them. Yes. I still feel the 'effects' to this day. )

Anyway, it's nice to know that I actually have a 'condition' and I'm not just some sissy-la-la. I'm thinking that the best therapy is probably eating lots of chocolate while getting massages on a weekly basis. Rest assured, I'll take my therapy VERY seriously and I'll start right away.

The 1st Birthday Party

SO!!! Miss Claire officially turned '1' this past Sunday. I must admit, throughout the course of her first year I played with a million different ideas of how I was going to do her first party. I went from tea-parties, to tutu's, to Chuck E. Cheese (that would mostly be for my benefit - I rock at this one game where you can win 150 tickets at a time - I hit it TWICE in one turn - EXCELLENT skills if I do say so myself - but I'm getting off track here...) but I'm a bit ashamed to say that when it came down to it, I just didn't put too much effort into her party. Life gets busy, and the thought of planning a birthday party for a kid who can't walk or talk can be tough. Plus, I belong to a moms group where it seems as if 95% of the kids are born in April. So that puts 'competition' on who gets to capitalize which Saturdays. Anyway, we ended up having an 'intimate affair' after church. I think it turned out perfectly.

So I made little cakes for the party that were in the shape of different mini-veggies, and butterflies, dragonflies, ladybugs, and bumblebees. Super cute. I made one that just had chocolate frosting (with white cake - my favorite) for Claire. Honestly, she didn't care in the slightest. It just sat on her tray. She looked around, wondered why everyone was staring at her, and why mom had a camera in her face taking photos. I took a TON. But they all looked like this one.



We ended up just breaking the cake into pieces so she could eat it. We literally had to put pieces in her mouth so she would taste it. She played a bit with the frosting, but like I said before, she really didn't care. After a bit we just took her down. It gets pretty boring, pretty fast watching a kid NOT eat their cake.


So here's a photo of the the little cakes I made. See - I get these ideas of how I want things to look, but I never allow enough time to do them. First, don't start making cakes at 9pm the night before. That DEFINITELY doesn't allow enough time. I thought I had more piping bags and tips, which I didn't. So I used only 2 tips and ziplock bags. I actually like that way better as it results in quicker clean-up. Oh yeah, I also didn't get enough frosting to do all the colors I wanted. So I had to stick with chocolate and vanilla. The cakes are also a bit 'puffy' because I overfilled the cake shapes. Oh well. Next time they'll look better. One more thing, can you spot the two cakes that Bob said looked like a kindergartener made? (Gwen - that is NOT a slam against you)


Um... these are the rest of the cakes that I was too tired and bored to do the 'right' way. So they just got a quick coating of frosting. Good thing Claire's long term memory hasn't fully kicked in yet.


I love this picture of Gwen, Claire, and Kennedy sitting on the little couch that my parents got her for her birthday. Can you see Claire's little budda belly?! SO CUTE!!! (and she's not wearing a bow because she's now learned that she can pull them out. Much to my dismay)


One last photo. Claire is obviously checkin' out the goods. Thanks for the smile Gwen.

So to sum it up - it was a fun time, and I now feel like I'm leaving the 'baby' world behind. I can't wait to see what this next year will bring. Claire is changing so much and I never get bored of it! In fact, tonight, she actually said, 'mom-mee' I LOVE IT!!!!!!

My Dearest Claire...

It is now just before 1am on the day of your birth. I'm getting ready to go to bed as I am up WAY to late - as normal.

I just checked in on you, and saw you laying in your crib. Some how you managed to turn upside down and you look SO incredibly sweet lying on your side. Your little legs make me smile - they always have, and I was so tempted to give them a little squeeze. I think your pajama shorts made them look extra cute.

I suddenly started thinking about what I was doing 1 year ago today, and I'm actually pretty surprised at how emotional I feel. Okay - so maybe that's not surprising as I can cry at anything remotely sappy.

At 1 am on April 13th of 2007, your daddy and I were actually asleep. Your 'Aunty Krissie' selflessly stayed at the hospital for what we considered to be the hardest 'shift' ever! Your dad and I still say that we owe Krissie the world for that. Your birthmom, 'D' was in 'transitional labor' (you'll learn about that stuff later on in life) and was having a hard time. She was very uncomfortable as she had already been in labor for 25 hours and you weren't going to make your appearance for another 12.

Emotionally, I was drained. Spent. So, SO tired. I couldn't wait to see you, but I was so nervous at the same time. See, there were two mommys that loved you so very much. One made sure that you had life, and that you were healthy. And she wanted you to have the best possible life that she could imagine. And by God's grace and goodness, she thought that me and daddy could give that to you. I hope so badly that I will. I can't imagine any baby being loved as much as you were.

I remember being so nervous that I would pass out when you were going to be born. I held your mom's hand and just looked at her face the entire time. And then I heard you cry. And you know what? I cried too! After you got your bath, daddy and I came up to the nursery to see you. You were being fed, and all the nurses said that you were so beautiful. And if I'm being completely honest - then I have to agree. Seriously - you were the prettiest baby EVER. And you were so tiny! I was so afraid to hold you - to change your diaper, to feed you. But 'D' showed me how. She showed me how to swaddle you, to change your clothes, everything! So again, you had 2 mommys to make sure that you were taken care of.

And now - here you are, a year later! A whole YEAR! I can't believe how fast it went by. You are becoming such a little person, and I love it so much! I love hearing you say 'mama', and I love when you give me smooches. I love your silly faces, and I love how you say 'oh, wow!' when something excites you. I love every thing about you. Everything - all of it. I love you SO incredibly much.

Happy birthday little munchkin!

love,
Mommy

Good Bye to the Mullet

As many of you know, Claire has had this very interesting mullet for the majority of her little life. I usually put her hair in 2 ponies so that it hides it, but since the rest of her hair is now growing in rather nicely, the ponies aren't looking too hot either. So for purely vain reasons (we're getting her 1 year photos done in just over a week) I made the executive decision to cut the mullet off. So here are a few photos, to document Claire's first haircut. And no, I did not do it myself as I knew I would probably mess it up - so Traci (who also does a fabulous job on my own hair -thank you very much) was so kind to do it for me. I, of course, in typical 'Asian' fashion was snapping photos left and right. At least I didn't have the neck strap on.


Seeing this photo actually makes me kind of like the mullet. I think it looks super cute here. Granted, you can't see the top - and that hat is OH so cute!!



Claire was just making sure Traci completely understood what look she was going for. I think in the end everyone was cool with it.


Claire did a super job during the entire 5 minute process. She didn't throw a fit of any kind, nor did she cry. I do think it's pretty cute how she was hanging onto the chair arm. Can you see that lock of hair on the counter? That's part of the mullet.

All done. My little baby is really looking like a little girl!!!