Friday, May 21, 2010

We Have a Son!

***** Warning - this will be a LONG post *****

Alright, it's all OFFICIAL, he's OURS!

Let me introduce you to 
Charles Robert Lesiw

Man... it seems like there is a ton of stuff to say, yet I'm not exactly sure where to start. 

After my post on Tuesday where I was talking about 'waiting', I really prayed about everything that night. Wednesday morning I checked my email first thing, and there wasn't any emails from the WCP (Waiting Child Program). I was slightly disappointed, but 45 minutes later there was an email... with an update on a little boy that we had previous 'declined' on. 

Now... I don't normally believe in signs, but now I kind of believe in signs even though I don't believe in signs. And here's why:

1) When we were first sent Charlie's file I looked over it, didn't understand the medical needs, and felt a bit overwhelmed by everything. Then I saw this little GIRL on the Photolistings that I wanted to check out. So I quickly sent in a 'decline' on the file and requested the little girl's (of course this was after Bob and I discussed it - it's not like I make these decisions on my own). In my rush to get the girl's file, I guess I said that I was still open to getting updates (which I don't remember doing) but I told them they could go ahead and photolist the little boy (as we were the only ones that his file was sent to). For what ever reason, they never photolisted him, and we were STILL the only family who had viewed his file. So when we received the 'update',  I wondered if this was a 'sign' that we were supposed to re-visit this file.

2) We ended up declining on the little girl's file - but during that period where we were reviewing her file I mastered the art of 'google' and found an experienced IAP (who gives discounts for WCP kids), and it also resulted in a 'delay' that allowed us to get important info off of Charlie's WBC's (Well Baby Checkups) that wouldn't have been available if we had initially considered his file. 

3) I sent off Charlie's file to the IAP and also printed up a copy of his file for a Pediatric GI Specialist. Okay - so everyone knows that Claire is an itty bitty. Her Pediatrician referred her to a Pediatric GI Specialist 'just to be sure' that everything was 'alright'  - which annoyed me because I didn't think it was necessary. The GI Specialist took one look at Claire and declared her 'perfectly fine', but that she needed to still gain weight (which we knew). BUT... I really hit it off with this doctor. Like... I want to be her best friend - or just hang out a few times. Anyway, during that appointment I told her that we were going to be adopting through the Special Needs program of our Agency and if we happened to get a file of a child with GI issues, could I make an appointment with her to review the file. She said of course, that I could just call her. This was 7 months ago. Keep in mind, at the time, I really wasn't sure what 'GI' really meant, or entailed.

4) We heard back from the IAP and she explained what his 'conditions' were. She also has some 'concerns' about his lack of nutrition and how that could affect his brain. During our last experience with this IAP, we noticed that she is really thorough, and caught some things that we had 'missed' on the little girls file - which ultimately resulted in us passing on the file - so we really trusted her. She was able to explain his condition in 'laymen' terms so I felt like I had a good understand (plus that fact that I pretty much read the same explanation on 20 different medical websites). 

5) The hardest part was waiting to hear back from the GI specialist. And just so you know, I failed miserably. I got frustrated, started having self doubt, thought I was over thinking, under thinking - my mind went in every direction. And then on Wednesday I called my BFF to 'complain' to her about how frustrated I was with the Doctor not calling us back - it had been a week, and that my mind was all over the place. She told me that she was going to be blunt and basically said to me: 

Your problem isn't that you're over thinking things, your problem is that you don't like waiting and you're not patient. So you need to stop getting angry at a doctor for not calling you back, and instead deal with your issues over not being able to wait. You chose to go through the Waiting Child Program and doing that means you'll probably have to wait on doctors. So if you can't handle waiting right now, then you're probably not cut out for the Waiting Child Program. 

Ahhhh... isn't that what best friends are for? They don't always tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. I instantly started laughing and agreed. She hit the nail right on the head. Because honestly, if the doctor told us that she saw a ton of red flags, I would have been perfectly fine with not moving forward. Honest. I truly believe with all my heart that God had the perfect child for us already picked out. So if it's not this child, then it's going to be another, I just have to 'wait' and see who it is. 

But fortunately he IS our Charlie. 

But I digress. A couple of hours after that conversation the GI Specialist calls. FABULOUS. She basically tells me that she sees no red flags in his file and the 'concern' about his malnutrition isn't really a concern. They will still want to monitor him, and there are a few things we need to keep an eye on and a look out for, but nothing that we can't handle. 

So that brings us to now. I had sent in the questionnaires that were emailed and our phone interview was today. At the end of our conversation she told us that it was now an 'official referral'. What wonderful words to hear. 

OH! I almost forgot this little 'sign'. The night the GI Specialist called - it was 6pm. I was supposed to go to a session with my trainer at that time. So normally I would have been out of the house by 5:45p... which means I would have missed the call. But my trainer had texted me earlier that day that he was still kind of sick (he never gets sick) and that he was canceling. I know! Crazy huh?! While I was celebrating the fact that I didn't have to go to the gym, little did I know I would actually be celebrating that I was at home to receive the phone call!

And the last thing I'll leave on, is that obviously at this point you all know how I can obsess over things. I have seen (and been warned by people on the Adoption Forums) that it's VERY easy to become obsessed with your travel time frame. So another 'blessing' that this is our Charlie, is that because of his conditions, he's really tiny. He needs to gain weight. That 'need' trumps any 'want' I have for him to come home sooner than later. Don't get me wrong - I eagerly anticipate his homecoming, but I feel really strongly about wanting him to be with his Foster Mom and gaining weight. The longer he can be in his stable, loving, familiar environment, the better chances of him really growing and thriving. So I look at this as a huge 'gift' from God because it has drastically changed my perspective on the 'wait' (which as recent history shows, I'm not too good at). 

So thank you to all who share in our joy.
We are excited to start this next part of the journey
and look forward to sharing it with you.
To God be the glory, great things he has done!


Anonymous said...

I can't tell you how excited I am for you, this is such a joyful journey, yet is filled with questions, doubts, and more questions. I know Charlie is YOUR son because I can hear it in your words, they are so heartfelt and full of love. Don't ever feel guilty over anything thru/out tins journey, do what you know you and your husband can handle. We face the same dilemmas, but go with your gut feelings. Continue to stay strong, the waiting it tough, but you are right, Charlie needs nurturing right now and our foster families in Korea are exceptional. I have met a lot of the foster mothers and have seen them with their children, they love them DEARLY! I have shed tears with them and smiles with them knowing what they have done for our children. Charlie feels your love thru them and he will get stronger and stronger so he can come home to you. Send him a blanket from all of you so he can be wrapped in your love. Congratulations!!!

Karen said...

YAY! YAY! YAY! CONGRATULATIONS! So exciting--what wonderful news! So happy for you all!

Kmoana said...

Beautiful...soooooooo Happy! And Rach, would you believe that I have 3 cans of Nutramigen sitting in my cupboard right now that we were planning on taking to Korea with us? I told my husband there is this special baby boy that can only have this type of formula, I CANNOT BELIEVE I was talking about sweet Charlie, your son...thats another sign!!! LOL! xoxo

Kmoana said...

P.S. You crack me up with your "Hallelujah" music, so appropriate with this post!!! :)

Mama Kat said...

Nothing else to say but... :) so happy. Sooo soooo happy. Send him peanut m&m's. Just a thought.

Kimberly and Ed said...

I am so excited for you!!! Charlie is precious!!!

Ellen said...

Oh, I have tears in my eyes! What a beautiful story of your journey to sweet Charlie! We will be praying that he grows into a strong little man! Enjoy celebrating your wonderful news!

-Stacy and Ted said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! i am THRILLED for you!!!!!!!!

Andersons said...

Congratulations!! He is such a cutie! :) So happy to hear your wonderful news.... and excited for updates as your journey continues. :)

JimandJackie said...

Congrats! I just love to hear the story...I know it is hard to know what is sign when viewing WC and what is just us hoping. But you had way too many he is handpicked for YOUR FAMILY! I think he is so darling!

Sandhya said...

Congratulations! I am so thrilled for your family. Claire is going to be a great big just gave her the BEST present you could ever give her! And boys DO really get a special place in a mothers heart....enjoy!

Amber said...

holy shmikeys... I missed this post with all the craziness going on in my house. I am so happy for you guys he is adorable. What a handsome little man. Boys are so fun... I am just so so so so so HAPPY for you!!!!!!!

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