Sunday, October 10, 2010

Countdown to Korea: 3 Days Left

Today I actually got a decent amount of stuff done. 
I didn't make it to Walmart to get my toiletry bag, but that's on tap for tomorrow. 

And while I've been busy trying to get everything ready for me to go,
it struck me how all of the sudden I realized that Claire
is not going to be my only child anymore... and strangely, I've gotten 
really sentimental.

There's been times when I've looked at my friends when they've transitioned to 
multiple kids, and I hear them say how they'll miss spending time with just
the 'oldest', or the 'first born' and I foolishly didn't get it. I probably thought some
snarky comment to myself about 'how is that fair the second' as they will 
never have that 'alone time' that the oldest had...

But now I get it

I love my girl with all my heart, but I know there's just as much room 
in that heart for her little brother that will be coming...

and yet there is a part of me that is sad.
Maybe it's because Claire is the one that made me a Mom. 

She's the one that got me through...

... praying every night that she wouldn't die of SIDS ...

... wondering how people knew when to increase the intake of formula ...

... my 'charting' of how much she ate & 'when' for six months straight ...

... my freaking out that when I burped her I might break her neck ...

and now here she is. 
my big girl. my oldest child. my pookie baby.

I love you Claire, so incredibly much. 
And I know you'll make the best big sister ever. 
Thank you for being such a wonderful daughter. 

Even when you're giving me a run for my money. 


Elizabeth and Dan said...

I love hearing about your progress everyday! Claire is so cute! My favorite is the one with her hair in two little buns with the orange bows. Now you will have to have mommy/Claire dates and Daddy/Claire dates. I hear that works pretty well for families for that precious one on one time. TWO DAYS AND THEN KOREA!!! SO excited and praying for you all.

Lindsay said...

claire is so beautiful! She is going to be a great big sister! I totally understand your sadness. I have felt it everytime when the youngest was about to no longer be the youngest anymore. You will be amazed at how wonderful their new sibling relationship will be. Watching my boys love for their little sister has been the best part of this journey for me. Hang in there, you are almost on your way! Only 2 more days!!!

Kelly said...

OMG, you're so close!!!!!

I just want to eat Claire up!!! Such a little cutie pie that girlie is!!!! She's going to be an amazing big sister!

BTW, I just think it's the *coolest* thing ever that Charlie's name is Claire's, with an h added and rearranged!

Jenny said...

what a beautiful girl claire is!

i totally understand how you feel. i felt the same way with my son. he had seven years of being an only child and i felt, and sometimes still do feel guilty. fortunately, my little man is an awesome big brother and although i know a lot has changed for him, i thank God that he has such a loving and compassionate heart.

Kmoana said...

claire, you are so beautiful and so is your dear sweet mama! rachel, i am wondering if you are going to chart how much and when charlie is eating?

Gary and Lisa said...

Love this post!! Claire is adorable!!!! And poor Cooper being our 1st, I still worry about everything!!! I guess that's just what moms do!! I'm sure Claire will be an awesome big sister, & there will be just more love in your family to go around!!

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